I'm Paralyzed

Here's a story from a friend of mine that speaks to these times of continuous layoffs, uncertainty and fear. 

A couple of weeks ago, my friend Phoebe got a phone call from a neighbor. They chatted for a minute about some weekend dinner plans. Sounds good, Phoebe thought, until an awkward silence on the other end of the line.

"I don't know what to do," the neighbor said. "I'm paralyzed."

Phoebe was still in her pajamas. She put down her cup of coffee and started hunting around for the car keys, imagining the worst.

"What do you mean you're paralyzed? Can you move your legs? Is it your arms? When did this happen? Can you get out of bed? Do we need to call 911?"

The neighbor laughed.

 "I can move," she said. "I just can't make myself look for a job."

 "Thank God," Phoebe said. "At least I don't have to haul you to the emergency room."

 There's a lot of what I call job-search paralysis going around. And there's no easy fix.

 So here are some words of advice from Mr. Uptimism about picking yourself up and starting over.

 If you find yourself in a hole, quit digging, it only gets deeper!

Understand and be prepared for a full range of emotions.  They can include shock, denial, anger, depression and on the rebound relief, acceptance, commitment and involvement in your new job search.  These don't fall in this order and you will find yourself going both forward and backward with this range of emotions.

Acknowledge the fact that this event, your job, loss has occurred.

And take some tips from the experts about how to begin your job search: 

  • Share your feelings with family members honestly and openly, but do not take your frustrations and anger out on them.
  • Maintain your social, church, and other contacts and activities.  Keep your lifestyle as close to normal for you as possible.
  • Expect to work hard when you begin looking for a new opportunity.  It will require discipline and daily effort.
  • Evaluate your personal financial situation and consider delaying significant expenditures if appropriate.
  • Think about whether or not you want or can relocate.
  • Think about your long term career plans - whether to continue in the same field, shift careers or further your education.

Think good, UPtimistic thoughts!  They will energize you and make you more receptive to new ideas.

You'd never call in sick by saying, "I'm paralyzed and I can't get up." Same for this next phase of life — get on with it and good luck. 

Bruce on the Loose